The past few years, adoption has done its best to kick me in the teeth. It has been the harder than I ever could have imagined or than I ever could explain to anyone in words. The only people that could possibly understand are those who have walked the road of parenting older adopted children who suffer from attachment and trauma disorders.
I still read a fair bit about adoption and try to keep on top of what is happening in the adoption world and when I hear about another corrupt adoption agency being exposed or about unethical adoption practises or about a hurting adoptive family trying to access help and services for their child and running into roadblocks, I want to cry.
Even after a failed foster adoption that ripped my heart out, I still love adoption.
Even after incurring massive debt for our international adoption after our adoption agency went bankrupt due to alleged corruption, I still love adoption.
Even after enduring the rude and sometimes even cruel comments from others, I still love adoption.
Even after holding my sweet children as they grieve for their first mothers, I still love adoption.
Even after two years of intensive therapy with our daughter who has Reactive Attachment Disorder and PTSD, I still love adoption.
Even though adoption has done its best to make me cry “uncle”, I still love adoption. I do not love the corruption. I do not love the loss. I do not love the high costs, both financially and emotionally. I do not love the pain. I do not love the hurt. But I do love my kids and I do love adoption.
I rejoiced this past weekend as friends of ours brought home a new son and delighted in the news that they are now a family of 4. A baby who needed a family now had a family who needed him too. It is beautiful. Truly miraculous.
I listen as my son tells me about his hopes and dreams, dreams that he could not have conceived of back in an orphanage in Ethiopia and I am amazed at how far he has come.
Adoption is complex and it is hard, but it is worthwhile.