At Home or Abroad?

author: Marcia

Yesterday we were sitting at a big park, watching our kids, along with a slew of other kids, as they raced around and had fun. We saw a couple little girls with curls who were really adorable. Something in my man’s demeanor changed and he said “Let’s look into adopting from our province…maybe a baby with HIV”.

So with that, we may look into domestic adoption but with medical needs. After all, why shouldn’t we look into the kids that need homes right here in our own country? Yes, there are kids in desperate needs abroad but there are many here in our province, waiting for a family to take them and make them a part of a family unit forever. We’ve been asking ourselves if we are supposed to adopt again and if so, do we do an international? And where exactly in the world would be the place for us to go?

Medical needs or learning disabilities, or exposure to drugs in utero just don’t scare us like they used to. I remember when we were first looking into adoption, so that we could become parents, we were a little fearful of the unknown. The thought of special needs of any sort kind of freaked us out. I knew that whether I carried the baby or not, something could go “wrong” and our child could end up with needs. After all, if our preemie son would have lived, he most likely would have had some significant special needs. You just never know.

Now that we are blessed parents to four very unique individuals, some with special needs and some without, we know that life throws unexpected curve balls and you must “roll with the punches”, as they say. Some of our children were exposed to drugs etc. in utero and some were not.  The “one” that we thought would be totally healthy, because the birth mom was healthy and took care in pregnancy, has some of the most significant needs. Ironic, no?

Some may wonder how we expect to meet the needs of all of our children. More children = more needs = more challenges? Are we crazy? Well, that goes without saying.

I used to wonder if I could handle having children at all, with the sleep deprivation and all that jazz. Since I have Fibro and CFS, I secretly wondered how I would do it. I didn’t dare say it out loud but deep down I knew that others wondered too. I won’t say there haven’t been bad days. Days where I just want it to be quiet. Days where I wish that it would be bedtime at 10am. There have definitely been those days. But from what I hear that is a normal occurrence for mothers of any kind. I still have days (many) where I feel like I am failing my kids. When I think my house could be cleaner if only I had more energy. But then again, I have friends who have the same challenges. And they are great moms. I trust God works through my weaknesses.

I think that it’s not really about ME now, is it? I kind of gave that up when I said “Yes” to Jesus. It’s all about Him. What does He want? What does HE have planned for my life and the life of my family? How can we make a difference in this world? How will we shine his light to those around us? Who does he have for us to share his love with?

And it’s about a child that needs a family. And quite frankly, maybe it is a family that needs a child. Our family. We don’t have wealth or a big house or fancy thingamajigs but we do have love. We do have a stable and yet crazy family. We have siblings just waiting for another.

Again, we have no idea what God has planned in our future…none of us do. We are asked to walk obediently and with faith. Sometimes it’s the crazy that makes sense. When something seems nuts to others, maybe it’s just the thing that will stretch our faith and our lives. The path less travelled…well, you know what they say!

So here we are. Just here. Waiting and wondering. Who knows what will happen?

So exciting isn’t it? The unknown? Usually it scares the crud out of me!