First Steps

author: Marcia

International Adoption? Foster-to-Adoption? Private Domestic Adoption?

So many options…and yet so few.

We are in deliberation, preparation, and praying mode for now. But we took a step this week that would be considered “foreplay”, if we were talking about the old fashioned way to have a baby.

We called the Social Worker in charge of adoption through the government. Our option for a domestic adoption is Foster-to-Adopt. That’s it. Since we truly want a younger child (preferably a baby), and that’s the only way to go, that is our only option. We know that this road is fraught with difficulty, paperwork, dealing with possibly inexperienced Social Workers (and that is one of the more difficult parts), having children here possibly short-term as you NEVER know with fostering. Yes, they would look at us from an adoption perspective, but with this program you are a foster parent first. The bonus is that we would possibly be placed with a baby (with some medical needs or drug exposure) that would otherwise be bopped around from foster home to foster home or wait in one foster home to become legally adoptable and then transition to another forever home. This way, a baby could come here and be our foster child until they are legally free and they would be here from early on (that’s our hope) like our other two babies (the last two).

My heart yearns to do an International Adoption in some ways and in others, I know that to do a domestic adoption is just as “good”. Either way, we expand our family. Either way we open our home to a baby that needs a loving place to call family forever. Either way is going to be HARD.

A few months ago, I was calling out to God, praying that if it were His will that my husband’s heart would be open. My heart broke and yearned to have another baby. My head told me it was impossible for so many reasons. My heart and spirit still cried out. Then my husband opened his heart. His heart and spirit started yearning to have another child. And my prayer was answered. Our heads know that people will think we are crazy. They will say ,“Don’t you have enough?” “Are you sure you are healthy enough for this?” “I think you should not have any more children” “Aren’t you too old for this?” “Can you afford this?” On and on the comments, thoughts or questions will go.

I am ready. I am expecting some really rude/insensitive queries and comments. I am actually praying that the people who may say/think we are crazy and shouldn’t do this will instead be supportive and thrilled for another family member/friend/child. That is my current prayer.

When we were praying about our fourth child we had some very hurtful things said to us. From family. It hurt a lot. I have forgiven and gone on. Those members love our fourth sweetie as much as anyone now. They may not even remember what they said. I hope they hold their tongues this time.

While the road ahead is unknown and we seek God’s guidance every step of our way, we know that God will send what we need when we need it.

The whole thing seems so unrealistic and surreal at this point. But God is the God who does the impossible and the surreal. I can’t wait to see what happens!! The anticipation I am feeling already is like I just did a pregnancy test and I’m waiting to see the little line appear!