This week’s optional question is “What books would you recommend to someone considering adoption?” I had thought that this would be such an easy question to answer because I love books and have read many but when it came down to it, I realized that it completely depends on the situation. If they are thinking of adopting a newborn, my list would be very different. I have decided to focus on what books I would recommend to someone considering adoption of an older child.

For someone considering adopting an older child, the books I would recommend would be:

The Connected Child: Bringing Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family by Dr. Karyn Purvis. The name kind of says it all. This book offers concrete strategies and should be read before, during and after the adoption. I am a big fan of Dr. Purvis and her work and continued research on attachment particularly in adoption. I would also recommend her videos.

The Adoptive & Foster Parent Guide: How to Heal Your Child’s Trauma and Loss by Carol Lozier. This book has been extremely helpful for me as an adoptive parent of children who have experienced trauma and loss (what adoptive child hasn’t experienced loss?!) and I only wish I had read it prior to adopting. I especially appreciate the case studies included and the conversational way in which it is written.

Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow by Gregory C. Keck. I love when there are concrete examples of what to do not just vague generalities given and this book offers actual lists of suggestions that are specific and very doable. I continue to reference this book years later.

The Out-of-Sync Child: Recognizing and Coping with Sensory Processing Disorder by Carol Stock Kranowitz and Sensational Kids: Hope and Help for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder by Lucy J. Miller. It is almost a given in my mind that older adopted children will have some form of sensory processing disorder because they fall into so many of the risk factors for it so I think that those considering adoption should familiarize themselves with this condition and the simple, yet effective ways that they can help a child with SPD to successfully navigate their world.

Shield: A Framework of Self-Care for Foster and Adoptive Families by Sharla Kostelyk. I don’t often plug my own books, but this is actually one that I think should be recommended reading for families pre-adoption so I am going to add it to this list. Self-care is such a critical component to an adoption being successful, especially an adoption of an older child.

What books would you recommend to someone considering adoption?

If you have a post related to adoption, regardless of whether it answers that question, please link up below to our Adoption Blog Hop.

Please note that next week, there will be no topic for the blog hop as I will be preparing to go to Florida for a retreat for moms who are parenting children with trauma or attachment issues (yeah!) so for next week, I will still host the blog hop, but there won’t be a set topic.

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My top 10 adoption related children’s books:

 I Don’t Have Your Eyes by Carrie A. Kitze is one of my all-time favourites. It is heartwarming and an easy introduction to talk to your kids about some of the differences they may have noticed especially in transracial adoption while concentrating even more on the similarities that we all have.

We Belong Together: A Book About Adoption and Families by Todd Parr is a great book for younger children. It is simple and yet profound.

I Promise I’ll Find You by Heather Ward is not directly adoption-related but it’s always been a favourite children’s book and it is especially good for kids who may need a lot of reassurance that they now have a parent who would go to the ends of the earth to find them if ever they were apart.

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes by Rose A. Lewis is just cute. The kids and I are now always saying to each other “I love you like crazy cakes” or our own invented version, “I love you like crazy muffins”!

I Like Myself by Karen Beaumont is another book that is not directly adoption related but I put it in this category because some of my kids need extra work on their self-esteem and this book is fabulous for that! It’s also fun to read as it has funny bits and parts where you can incorporate touch (like when it talks about noses or toes, you can take the opportunity to touch your child’s nose and toes).

Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children by Sherrie Eldridge touches on issues that may be hard for children to bring up on their own such as their feelings about birth family and is an excellent starting point for discussions with your kids.

God Found Us You by Lisa Tawn Bergren is a sweet little story about a fox and is applicable to all types of adoption.

Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis is a book that is pretty specific to domestic infant adoption but we have still been able to use it as a segway into talking about the day that each of our kids came to us and the unique circumstances around that. It is also good at relating the feelings that an adoptive couple may experience and relaying that to your child and talking about how you were feeling at different stages in their adoption.

A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza is a book that I have a soft spot for because it was one of our very first adoption children’s books and it introduces the concept that being the same is not what makes a family. It is great for young children.

I Love My Hair! by Natasha Tarpley is again not just for adopted children but as the mom of an African-born daughter, this book has helped us teach her to love her hair and be proud of who she is. You can read my in-depth review of I Love My Hair!.

What about you? What are your favourite adoption-related children’s books? What are your kids’ favourites?

Please link up any adoption related posts to this week’s Adoption Blog Hop. Next week, the optional question will be ”What books would you recommend to someone considering adoption?”

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I am sure that many of you have already heard about this incredible book and Katie’s unbelievable story. Katie is a twenty two year old American living in Uganda. She is also the single, adoptive mother to thirteen girls (yes, you read that right…at 22, she is already the mother of 13!) and runs a ministry in Uganda that is impacting thousands of lives every day.

In all honesty, I put off reading this book. I’ve been reading Katie’s blog for a few years and therefore, I knew that her book would be awesome. But I did not want to read it. I avoided buying it. Once in my hands, I avoided reading it. I thought that reading the book would make me feel guilty. I thought that reading Katie’s beautifully crafted words and hearing about the sacrifices she has made and the impact she has had would make me feel that I wasn’t doing enough. I thought that maybe I would feel that I should sell everything I owned and move to a third world country or that I should adopt more children, so naturally, I avoided reading it. For a while, I avoided looking at it!

Once I was brave enough to crack it open, I discovered that it actually had the opposite effect on me. It was so focused on Jesus and on His love for each one of us, His love for me, that it only refreshed me and encouraged me. It met me where I was and blessed me there. It also made me feel very grateful for my blessings, both the small ones and the big ones. It made me aware of the call to serve right where I am, whether that be to just pour love into my children or to help out a neighbour or a friend in need. I became more conscious of the needs around me and being in the moment, concentrating on my relationship with the person standing right in front of me. I know it sounds cliche and extreme, but I truly believe that reading this book changed my life.

Of course Katie’s story is about adoption and about orphans and about faith, but it is about so much more than that. It is about fear and hope and love and about how little it takes to make a lasting difference in this place we call world.

After reading Kisses from Katie, I began feeling more hopeful than I had in a long time and feeling more thankful than I had been. My faith was strengthened and I was encouraged. I have already begun to implement changes in my own life as a result of reading this book. If you read nothing else this year, read this inspiring book. You won’t regret it.

For a limited time, the eBook Shield: A Framework of Self-Care for Foster and Adoptive Families is available for half price.  This is a great time to pick it up!  The price is already reflected on Kindle purchases.  For those wanting to purchase it as a pdf, just use the code summer at checkout to receive the 50% discount.

“Shield: A Framework of Self-Care for Foster and Adoptive Families”, by Sharla Kostelyk, is a must read for anyone thinking of fostering or adopting, and also for those who are well into their journeys of fostering and/or adoption.  As a relatively new foster and adoptive parent, I laughed and cried my way through this helpful guide as I recognized Sharla’s struggles as my own, realized that I am not alone, and found solutions to help me through the difficult days.  With her non judgement, knowledge and wit, Ms. Kostelyk gives realistic advice for fostering and adoptive families.  Self care is a critical part of preparing and succeeding at the foster and adoption ride of your life!”-Michelle, foster and adoptive mom